Easter Impractical Joke

Now bite off the head, Jimmy!

I've always thought it strange that edible items are made in the shape of cartoon characters and the like. Chewing off bits of the head of a Mickey Mouse popsicle, for example, just strikes me as macabre. With that in mind I came up with the following prank. Take a hollow chocolate Easter bunny and fill it (partially) with fake blood and reseal it. That way, when bitten it will "bleed". It'd be necessary to give it a quick shake right before presenting it to the intended target in order to coat all the interior surfaces as they'd probably start eating at the top. There are two obvious problems with this idea: firstly, it might be pretty traumatic (at least for a child), and second, it has a high potential for staining. Therefore, I don't suggest you try it. Pity.

Fireman's Pole With Stairs Combo

I saw this great picture of a spiral staircase with a slide around it and noticed that it seemed too small to really be useful for an adult. What's really required is a fireman's pole, although that is a safety nightmare, especially for small children. Since spiral staircases are problematic to get approved in many areas owing to their narrow treads near the pole, I decided to design one using regular right angle stairs with landings. It doesn't take too much imagination to see how it would translate to a spiral stair. I assumed a story height of nine feet, which can be accommodated nicely in fifteen steps. These stairs could be extended up multiple floors if desired, with the pole extending all the way to the bottom floor. A more practical, if less entertaining, use for the central area would be as a wheelchair lift.

One Possible Use for Decommissioned Nukes

Oil shale requires large amounts of heat to convert it to a useful form. A small thermonuclear warhead detonated in an oil shale deposit could provide this energy and the refining process would separate the volatile fuel components from the heavier radioactive elements which could then be disposed of properly. Assuming underground contamination issues could be satisfactorily controlled (a huge assumption, I realize) this could in theory be the first practical use of fusion for energy production. Of course it would still be totally impossible politically, which is why this idea is on my public blog. It also is unclear if the heat would be dispersed in a useful manner, but computer simulation could answer this question.